Waiting for clothes to dry...

and they are taking forever....

While I'm waiting I thought I would add something to my neglected blog. I'm not sure what I have to say ...

I seem to be in a period of wait in other areas as well. I don't like the waiting. Does anyone really? It is the unknown that we fear. How will it all turn out? In my favor? or NOT??

Ultimately all I really want is for everything to work out for the best of everyone... for truth to be victorious... for God to be glorified... and for me to grow in the process. (Unfortunately - that last one is often painful.)

There is so much more I want to type.. but everything that comes to mind - can't be shared with the world... so I guess I will now go to the One that I can share anything with...

That's all ....

Quote

Read this quote on someone elses blog (one of the horse ones)... and I liked it...

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ask God One Question?

I recently received a flyer in the mail from a local church. They are starting a new study - where they have asked the locals this question:

If you could ask God one question - what would it be?

Well, they are then taking those questions and answering them one by one...

But it got me to thinking - One Question ... hmmm... wow - there are so many... if I had to pick one - what would it be???

I guess the one that I want to know is about my dad. My dad died when Christopher was 9 months old... I don't *think* my dad was saved... but I don't know - I never asked. I know my grandmother was... but have no idea about my dad.... have a strong feeling that no he was not (and frankly the outcome of that is not one I really like thinking about) ... but I would like to know - where is my dad?

The questions that were on the flyer were very basic questions like:
Why do bad things happen to good people?
What happens when I die?
Will my family recognize me in heaven?
Why is there evil in the world?

SO - if you could ask God one question - what would it be???

My jaw hurts....

Well, it's probably a good thing that I didn't blog when I thought I was going to... I was filled with lots of emotion and it probably would have spewed out like a bunch of garbage.

I am also aware enough of my body that most of this is probably hormonal - but sometimes I have to wonder if that is part of the plan to get us to deal with things that are otherwise stuffed.

I'm not sure that I could ever take the blog a day challenge... it usually takes several days for thoughts to formulate into something comprehendable. But several thoughts that I have been having just won't go away ... so maybe if I write about them - they will at least quite down. I'm still not sure if they will make any sense - but here goes.

I've been thinking a lot lately about assumptions. It was funny that last weeks video even talked about how we all make assumptions about others. Sometimes, it is based on an event... one lone event. And sometimes not... like in the video the other night: One woman said that she never calls her friend because she always assumes that her friend is too busy - and the other woman said, The truth is, No - I'm just sitting there wondering why no one ever calls me.

I'm sure you've heard of the old saying about assumptions. When you assume, you make and ASS out of U and ME. Well, I guess if people want to do that to themselves - that's fine. But it really hurts when you are the ME part of the equation. And when we assume something about someone else - we tend to assume the worst and never the best.

What is worse is that people tend to hold onto their assumptions - like they were fact and then have no problem telling others of this new fact they have about so and so. So, the assumption spreads and more people believe it to be fact. And not only do they spread it around - they hold onto it no matter how much evidence you have to the contrary. And this goes on and on until you feel that no matter what you do - it will never be good enough.....

Now, I am not saying that I am above all of this - or have never done this. Oh I'm sure that I have. And if anyone is reading this that I have done that to - I am sorry, truely and deeply sorry. But what I am saying is that since I am aware of just how difficult it is to undo what others think of you... not only am I trying to not do this ever again ... but am contemplating just how much damage has been done to the perception of my children's character.... (I say perception because I don't know that anyone really knows their character) and if there will ever be anything I can or they can do to undo it. Because at this point it seems that no matter what they do right - it's tainted by what they once did wrong.

Sometimes ... most of the time lately... I just want to pick them up and run. Move them far away... to a large piece of land where I can protect them from the hurt and pain of life that is often dished out by the people we trust. A place where I can teach them about the magnitude of God - and how He shows us that in the beauty of His creations.

The emotions are returning.... so let me switch gears.

I have also been thinking lately a lot about high school - maybe because life in general has been feeling a lot like that. And how it felt to be there... not being one of the popular ones (probably because of the assumptions they made about me)... sometimes, I was given the chance to be in the inner circle - but only if I was with this one girl who really knew me and liked me anyway. But, never quite measuring up to be invited all on my own... I remember one other time I was invited into the inner circle and thought I was gaining friends.... but it turned out that when I finished changing their flat tire - they acted like they never knew me. And then there was another time that I got invited to a party - only to find out that it was because they wanted me to paint the pep rally posters while they all stood around. I hated high school.

How can something that happened so long ago .. so very long ago... still feel like it happened yesterday? I feel stupid for the big fat tears that are rolling down my face. But I can't help it... they won't stop.

I guess the bottom line to all of this is: we (that includes me) need to be more careful with other people's feelings.

Because the other old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me." - is the biggest lie from the pit of hell. I would rather take a physical beating ... any day.

Mom Update

Mom went for her internal ultrasound yesterday... they did an ultrasound but at the same time looked with a scope to see what was wrong with the opening of the pancreas. And they found - NOTHING!!!! God is sooooo good !!!!

The doc said going in that he expected to see sludge back up from the gallbladder - but he saw perfectly normal tissue with no signs of sludge, gall stone, or tumor!!! He is thinking that maybe at one time there was a gallstone that had gone up there and irritated the pancreas duct... but it has since passed...

Would love to say that we are done... but tomorrow there is a lower GI scheduled.. and then we are looking at surgery to get her gallbladder removed.

But the biggest scare was the pancreas - and God came through once again!!!

All glory to God in the highest!!! Thank you Jesus for your healing touch.... thank you Holy Spirit for your comforting peace.