Today's blood work shows that mom's pancreas situation is getting worse - and it has spread to her liver. I say situation since they still don't know really what "this" is. They have several theories: 1- a small stone they can't see on the CT scan; 2 - scarring in the sphincter muscle from the gallbladder; 3 - the bile duct(s)closing up. If it's #3 - they don't know why it's doing that. At any case tomorrow or Friday they will be transporting her to Torrance to have an ERCP done... (where they go down with a scope, a balloon and a grabber to see, enlarge ducts and extract whatever is in the way). I guess we will know more after that.
Christopher is still planning on moving although I am told by everyone in Texas that they are telling him that this is not a good plan and that he should not do it. I guess we will see what happens when mid October gets here (that's when he says he is going) - since they say they are not funding the trip to get him there. Right now, I am praying for the Air Force. I have been told by 3 people of their experience and training they received there - and it sounds great.
I was planning on taking a vacation the first part of October to go to the East coast with my mom and sister to visit family and see where my mom grew up... but East coast family has said that it is not a good time (with the above 2 things - they are probably right). So, it looks like my sister is coming here to visit instead!
So, in all cases - looking for God's will and plans to be carried out.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Mom back in the Hospital
Well, my mom had her gallbladder (finally) removed last week. She went home the next day and was in quite a bit of pain from the surgery but seemed like she was finally on her way to recovery on Sunday night... or was it Monday night.
Anyway - she called me yesterday morning to rush over there that she was having different pain and it was terrible. She had so much gas that I thought she might explode... and honestly I thought at that time she might be exaggerating the pain a bit much. The pain grew and grew - we called her surgeon and he said get her to the ER now. She didn't think she could walk to the car and for whatever reason her senior bldg doesn't have a wheelchair for cases like this - so here comes the ambulance.
So, at the ER the surgeon came to see her and said that he thinks that the gas is not a simple case of indigestion but a symptom of something else. He believed that she had pancreatitus (inflammation of the pancreas) but he needed to find out why. His best guess was that a stone was loose and lodged in one of the ducts causing all the problems. If that was the case - simple fix go in with a scope and retract the stone. So we waited for blood work to confirm that she did have pancreatitus and a CT scan to confirm the stone.
Blood work confirmed pancreatitus but CT scan does not confirm the stone. So, now she is admitted - waiting for the surgeon and gastro docs to confer and figure out what their next step is.
Pancreatitus in itself is not serious - but if not fixed can lead to serious problems.... so thanks for the prayers already said and any more you can offer.
I will update when I know more...
Anyway - she called me yesterday morning to rush over there that she was having different pain and it was terrible. She had so much gas that I thought she might explode... and honestly I thought at that time she might be exaggerating the pain a bit much. The pain grew and grew - we called her surgeon and he said get her to the ER now. She didn't think she could walk to the car and for whatever reason her senior bldg doesn't have a wheelchair for cases like this - so here comes the ambulance.
So, at the ER the surgeon came to see her and said that he thinks that the gas is not a simple case of indigestion but a symptom of something else. He believed that she had pancreatitus (inflammation of the pancreas) but he needed to find out why. His best guess was that a stone was loose and lodged in one of the ducts causing all the problems. If that was the case - simple fix go in with a scope and retract the stone. So we waited for blood work to confirm that she did have pancreatitus and a CT scan to confirm the stone.
Blood work confirmed pancreatitus but CT scan does not confirm the stone. So, now she is admitted - waiting for the surgeon and gastro docs to confer and figure out what their next step is.
Pancreatitus in itself is not serious - but if not fixed can lead to serious problems.... so thanks for the prayers already said and any more you can offer.
I will update when I know more...
Thursday, September 4, 2008
My heart is ripping in two....
Christopher is making plans to move to Texas.... making these plans behind my back. Running away from a girl here - to a girl there... and using everything I say to him as an excuse to make it all right.
I feel like such a failure...
Being his mom has been such of a fight - right from the beginning. Right after he was born I had a gallbladder attack and went into the hospital for 12 days... then I was released - had another attack and went back in the hospital for another 12 days. Both times - my mother-in-law convinced my husband that he shouldn't bring the baby to see me. When I was released we moved in with her for 6 weeks because I wasn't supposed to lift anything heavy. So... the first 3 months of his life he was held by her...
I then went back to work - she watched him and he drew closer to her. He would cry when I came to pick him up. It was torture.
We moved into another house that wasn't so close to her and things got better. Our relationship grew... and then his dad walked out. So then it was me and him... I felt at times it was Christopher and me against the world.... many things happened but the constant thing was us. It came a time when I needed to work to get myself out of debt so he had to move back into his grandmothers.... for a year I worked and would see him when I could ... until finally he asked me why he couldn't stay with me. I hold onto that moment - at that moment I knew my son loved me.
Over the years - I thought we were drawing closer.... I thought... I have watched him grow and change.... I have watched him accept the Lord into his life... I have watched him learn and thought he was on a path to right choices... he has so much potential... but he is ready to squander it all away...
He has no job... a high school education... no skills... no plan... but he's 18.
I know that I made a lot of these same choices in life... and that is what scares me... I did have a plan - was in college but I allowed stupidity (mainly in the form of a boy) to change the whole course of my life. I want so much more for him.... it is really breaking my heart to watch him do this... and there is nothing I can do about it.
Nothing but stand by and cry...
I have felt for a long time that God has a calling for his life... and sometimes I wonder if it is that pressure that Christopher is running from. I know that he is smart - I know that he knows deep down that what he is doing is wrong - at the very least it doesn't make sense. But maybe the pressure and guilt for not stepping up and into the calling is what he is really running from... I don't know.
But ultimately it makes me not even want to try with the younger one. For 18 years, everything that I have taught Christopher has been refuted by his father... the structure and instruction has been seen by many as nothing by my desire to control. In fact what it was my deep deep love for my son....
Although John has come such a long way as a husband and father... this is one thing that we still battle with. I tell Jake one thing and he is taught quite the opposite by his father... I really don't want to do this again... maybe I should just put him into public school ... get busy(er) with my own life... and let his father raise him. Why try - What is the point of it all????
I feel like such a failure...
Being his mom has been such of a fight - right from the beginning. Right after he was born I had a gallbladder attack and went into the hospital for 12 days... then I was released - had another attack and went back in the hospital for another 12 days. Both times - my mother-in-law convinced my husband that he shouldn't bring the baby to see me. When I was released we moved in with her for 6 weeks because I wasn't supposed to lift anything heavy. So... the first 3 months of his life he was held by her...
I then went back to work - she watched him and he drew closer to her. He would cry when I came to pick him up. It was torture.
We moved into another house that wasn't so close to her and things got better. Our relationship grew... and then his dad walked out. So then it was me and him... I felt at times it was Christopher and me against the world.... many things happened but the constant thing was us. It came a time when I needed to work to get myself out of debt so he had to move back into his grandmothers.... for a year I worked and would see him when I could ... until finally he asked me why he couldn't stay with me. I hold onto that moment - at that moment I knew my son loved me.
Over the years - I thought we were drawing closer.... I thought... I have watched him grow and change.... I have watched him accept the Lord into his life... I have watched him learn and thought he was on a path to right choices... he has so much potential... but he is ready to squander it all away...
He has no job... a high school education... no skills... no plan... but he's 18.
I know that I made a lot of these same choices in life... and that is what scares me... I did have a plan - was in college but I allowed stupidity (mainly in the form of a boy) to change the whole course of my life. I want so much more for him.... it is really breaking my heart to watch him do this... and there is nothing I can do about it.
Nothing but stand by and cry...
I have felt for a long time that God has a calling for his life... and sometimes I wonder if it is that pressure that Christopher is running from. I know that he is smart - I know that he knows deep down that what he is doing is wrong - at the very least it doesn't make sense. But maybe the pressure and guilt for not stepping up and into the calling is what he is really running from... I don't know.
But ultimately it makes me not even want to try with the younger one. For 18 years, everything that I have taught Christopher has been refuted by his father... the structure and instruction has been seen by many as nothing by my desire to control. In fact what it was my deep deep love for my son....
Although John has come such a long way as a husband and father... this is one thing that we still battle with. I tell Jake one thing and he is taught quite the opposite by his father... I really don't want to do this again... maybe I should just put him into public school ... get busy(er) with my own life... and let his father raise him. Why try - What is the point of it all????
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