He cares...

I wrote briefly about this on Facebook ... and I haven't blogged in forever... so I thought maybe I could expand here....

Waaaaayyyy back in 1983 (yes, some of you weren't even born yet) I was in high school. I was in the drama club - we were called Thespians. On stage was really the only place I ever felt I "belonged". Until one day....

We were holding auditions for "Oklahoma"... I wanted a part in this musical so bad... but knew that singing wasn't something that I was particularly good at. Someone told me that I could maybe get the part of the grandmother since she had a rough voice - so I thought I would give it a shot. The bad part was - the director wanted everyone to try out for two parts. So, the other song I learned was for the lead. I practiced and practiced... and very nervously I got up on stage for my turn. I knew there was no way I would ever get the lead ... but that is the song he wanted me to start with. So, the music started - I started singing... and then I saw his face. It was terrible. I was terrible. I stopped - told the sound guy to stop the music and walked off stage. The director said "thanks" and I knew that thanks wasn't for auditioning but for stopping the audition.

I love to sing... always have. And to make things worse - my mother has the most beautifully natural and gifted singing voice that I have ever heard. But she also has the lowest self confidence and biggest set of stage fright ever - so won't sing in public (if people are focused on her) ... put a mic in front of her and forget it! Sooooo many people have told her throughout her life that she is wasting the gift that she was given... and soooo many times I have wished that I could have just a piece of that gift because I (in case you didn't know) am not afraid to be in front of people.

Well, I got the job of stage manager for that musical and all future musicals... And life happened and I gave up the dream of ever being able to sing on stage.

Fast forward many years later and I find myself in church. Sunday after Sunday singing my heart out to my Lord that has saved me from soooo many things... and little by little - do my ears deceive me or does it sound like my voice is getting better? I know that we hear ourselves much differently than others hear us... but I would often do the little cup thing over my ear and listen - could it be???

Now, please don't think I am vain or think that "I'm all that"... I know there is no way I could ever sing a solo... but it dawned on me - He knew... He remembered... I was reminded again about just how much He cares... He truly cares about the desires of our heart.

So, when Pastor James asked me if I would be interested in helping with kids worship - I said YES! - even though I knew that meant possible humiliation.... and seeing that same look on the faces of many people that I saw on the face of my director so many years ago. But, I love worship, I love the kids, and so want the kids to feel the joy of true worship... and I needed to test this out...

The big day came... and even though I was singing along to a video and had many voices singing along with me... I asked a few people that I thought would tell me the truth. OK..."Be honest - how was it?" I was hoping that people didn't think that I was fishing for compliments (and that is NOT the reason for this blog) but I needed to see... was it just wishful thinking??? Or was my voice really not that bad? I really hope that those who I asked were honest with me... of course, the enemy wants to tell me they weren't and and are all presently laughing about me behind my back.

But, I have more faith than that in my God.... I do believe that when we honestly seek after Him... He will give us the desires of our heart. (Psalm 37:4) The Amplified Bible adds in that He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. But like how the New Century Version begins the verse - Enjoy serving the Lord, and He will....

Dear Lord, it is nothing but joy in serving You..... I thank you again for always being faithful. This desire wasn't provided according to my timetable - but Yours. And I thank You for that as well. You knew exactly when I would best appreciate it and would know it was from You.

TRUNK OR TREAT....

Wow - what an amazing night!!! Everyone came out, decorated their cars - really got into the fun of being around children... handed out tons of candy...gave away free snowcones and burritos from Taco Bell... and SHARED THE GOSPEL!!!

We had 6 stations set up where the Wordless Book was shared one color at a time.... Gold for the streets of Gold in Heaven... then onto the dark page - where you were told, Heaven sounds great but we can't go there because there is sin in our lives... oh but wait, there IS a way - onto the red page.... where they learned of the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for their sin....(at this stop there were huge crowds - asking questions and wanting to know more...) down the lane a bit more to the white page where they learned that Jesus rose again on the third day and wants to invite us into His family!!!... (at this stop - they were offered the chance for salvation ... and over 100 accepted!!!!) .... then on to the green page where they learned how to grow in Christ.... then finally on to the blue page where our Helper the Holy Spirit was waiting to wrap it all up....

Again .... what an amazing night... THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU - for those of you who came out and was a part of this event.... your participation helped change someone's life.

Taking Jesus to Backyards everywhere!

Our 5 Day Clubs have come to an end... here's some pics and video of the great time we had this week!!

5 Day Clubs

We have been blessed to have been put in contact with a group from Oregon who are doing 5 Day Clubs. These kids are really great... Our leader was telling me about one of the girls - who joined this group without knowing one person. She decided that she wanted to do something for Jesus so she gave up her summer and stepped out into the unknown - and has been blessed beyond measure. I love that that is how our amazing God works...

We had 10 kids the first night and 8 last night. Two of the boys took all the flyers and said they will be handing them out today at summer school!!! I won't be able to be with them tonight (play practice) but I look forward to hearing about another great turnout!!

I really wish I could show you pictures of the kids playing the games or singing the silly songs... but I still can't find the extra battery or battery charger for my camera... :-(

EDIT: Tuesday: 10 boys tonight and 1 little girl who was having nothing to do with those boys.... but 2 of the boys were saved tonight!!! WOOHOO!!!

It's Sunday. Sunday = Church. We had a guest speaker today. A missionary from Global University. He was a good speaker.... My mom's only comment: I wish who ever is speaking wouldn't talk about how much time they don't have.
After church I went to lunch with the leaders of our women's ministry. We discussed the upcoming retreat. The conversation then led to a discussion about a current Wed night study... and for some reason I felt the need to get defensive.
The study is based on a book called "Captivating". It's an awesome book ... but what I hear most from other people about the book and the study is that it's too "foo foo" or "flowery" ... I don't get it. I am so not your girly girl ... and I don't think it's all girly ... why do others who one would think are way more feminine then me think this? It really is confusing. Anyway - last weeks study was talking about the ways we as women hide. We hide our vulnerablity, our weakness, our being a woman by being either a weak, passive and desolate woman - or go to the other extreme and becoming controlling and dominant. The third alternative is that we become some odd mixture of the two. I have discovered that I fall into the third camp... being one to hide the fact that I really am the other.
I was told growing up that my dad was given a choice when I was about 5... either stop drinking or we were going to leave. Well, let's just say - he didn't choose me. Some of my earliest memories are of being at the bar begging him to leave because I was falling asleep ... only to hear him say, "Just one more." What it meant to me was that I was not worthy.
That set off a chain of events in my life. If my dad did not think I was worthy - maybe some other man will. I went from one to the other searching for what my father did not give me. And searching for what ultimately no man could give me. The only One who could give me what I needed ... what I truely needed was the true lover of my soul ... Jesus. Captivating was the tool that showed me that... NO I don't think that it is the only book that should ever read. And NO I don't think that the Bible shouldn't be read or that someone couldn't read the Bible and find out that same information. But for me - Captivating said it in a way that I had never heard before. For that I am truely grateful. I am grateful to the Elderidges for being obedient and writing what the Lord pressed on their heart. But notice I do know where they got their info from .. the same place where all good things come from.
But I am still perplexed that somepeople could oppose something that others have said has changed their life. And oppose it because it doesn't seem relevant to them or doesn't fit into their idea of God or the Bible... I still say - those that it makes uneasy are the ones that probably need the study the most.